You’re likely to bump into messages about International Women’s Day today, and for a few days to come.
Whilst wondering what to share with you today, we were struck by the importance of the ‘how’ of this; how do we ’embrace equity’ and who do we need to be if we (I mean us, here in the Club) are to be the ones who show leadership on this.
Perhaps STRAIGHTFORWARD is one way of being that might fuel our actions and enable us to truly embrace equity.
There’s a poem by Nic Askew that nods in this direction….
Unprotected Conversation
‘How brazen’ they said.
‘How threatening’ they thought.
She’d talk with anyone.
With everyone.
Without caution, or regard
to who or how they were.
Or to where such
conversation might lead.
Slaying make-beliefs and
catching uneasy truths
along the way.
Such is the consequence of
unprotected conversation.
‘How irresponsible’ they said.
‘How courageous’ they thought.
Might we all have more unprotected conversations and reveal a little more of the truth of the reality we’re in?
However you mark International Women’s Day, we hope it causes you to pause and reflect and to celebrate the incredible humans in your life.
Stay thoughtful….
Responses
‘or to where such conversation might lead……..’
I love this Bev. Thank you for sharing it with us. I look forward to a future filled with exciting possibilities fueled by unprotected conversations.
I particularly love this poem because you can see the internal dialogue and the spoken word at the same time. How often must it happen that people say one thing but think another and lack the courage to say the truth? Glad you like it
It’s lovely thoughtful poem Bev and you’re right that people often don’t say what they really want or need. In TA this is called an ulterior transaction. Families and teams often communicate via ulterior transactions – when people know each other well, they read between the lines as to what is meant, rather than what is said – although they don’t always get it right! I was talking about this with my sister recently. She got annoyed at Xmas because she arrived last and there was nowhere to sit. She’s carried this frustration since then! When we talked she realised it wasn’t really about having nowhere to sit, it was about the fuss my Mum makes when I go home, as I live away. Whereas my sister feels taken for granted because she’s always there. Instead of asking ‘could we sort out some chairs for us?’, she conveyed her impatience and irritation saying ‘my kids always end up sitting on the floor’ – an Ulterior Transaction. And i read her frustration and decided not to play!! It’s so interesting when we begin to unravel what people are really feeling and thinking versus what they say and do. And there’s often shame and fear about rejection in actually saying what we want and need.
We’re complicated aren’t we @lyn-paxman And we process situations so quickly and intuitively without actually thinking them through, and that stops us seeing that there’s another way sometimes. Such a great examples in your story. Glad you and your sister are on speaking terms!
Our relationships are a great mirror aren’t they. A playground for growth.
There’s been a few posts I’ve seen already that I’ve had an interesting internal reaction to. There’s a sense of polarity I feel that I find uncomfortable. I love the idea of unprotected conversations. I’m also reminded of something I read a while ago… we’re always in the middle. Wherever we stand (physically and metaphorically), we’re always in the middle. So, finding different middles to be in and having unprotected conversations from there…mmm, lots to ponder. Thank you Bev.
“We’re always in the middle.” That’s really appealing to me, Wendy, to see myself that way, and to look at situations from that viewpoint too. Feeling a little spangled by that, Thank you
Yes, it really struck me too when I came across it. Xx
I’m trying to get my head around this idea of always been in the middle. As a facilitator I feel I often am in the middle, or on the fence, naturally seeing and bringing together differing perspectives. But I suppose what a facilitator does is ensure everyone is heard. A polarity is created when people feel they are not being listened to and understood. I suppose that’s where the ideal is that we meet in the middle, even if we’re coming from a polarised position in terms of our current view of the world. Perhaps that means that both ‘polarities’ need to be prepared to step into the middle, at least for a little while to share, to be heard and hopefully understood?
I’m thinking about what we learned in our NLP training Lyn, about perceptual positions. Seeing ourselves as in the middle and looking at life from the middle…does it show us something else? It feels like it gives us a tonne of possibilities. From the middle, I can go anywhere. If I’m at one end of a continuum, I can only travel in one direction. Or hop off!!
Oooh oooh, but also, if I’m in the middle, could it be that there’s nowhere for me to get to at all? I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. Think I like that thought! ????
Interesting to read the unfolding of this between you and @Lyn (can’t tag you!)
And….even at one end of the continuum, we are still in the middle! The possibility for expansion is present wherever we are. ????